Improving Family Communication through Vocabulary

There are certain things that are unique to each species on our planet. Just as hive making is unique to the bee, an intricate language built on signs is unique to the human. We are very complex creatures. We have the capacity for abstract thoughts and emotions and, despite our natural predisposition toward language, we often find communicating these thoughts and emotions highly problematic. Let’s face it, expressing what is in our heads is difficult enough, throw in relationship dramas, tensions, and moments of heated exchange, and it can be darn near impossible to articulate your ideas.

There are several ways to improve how you communicate with your loved ones. The first thing you might want to do is to observe the thirty-second rule. If someone in your family says something that really seems to dig at you and your first response is to fire back with something hurtful or retaliate with an inappropriate outburst of emotion, wait thirty seconds to allow yourself time to cool down and think objectively. In communication, we are trying to build bridges to understanding and we cannot do this if both parties are not willing to meet in the middle. Sometimes it pays to take the higher road.

Another way to improve communications with your family is to improve your vocabulary. Cultivating a broad word bank can help you focus and allow you to find precise words. Precision is key to helping you better articulate your abstract thoughts and emotions. When you have a better variety of words, you will find that you can communicate more effectively with people. Building a larger vocabulary can take quite a bit of time and effort, so your best bet might be to invest in a program that helps you learn words on your own schedule. Companies like Verbal Advantage have several packages that are catered for the individual who has a need for a stronger vocabulary but who might not have the time to enroll in costly courses. These companies have spent countless research and development hours to bring you a versatile and solid product.

The third way you might improve your communications with your family is through setting agreements about what you will and will not discuss. It may sound silly to you to plan a meeting with your loved ones; however, in very difficult situations, you will find that boundaries are very helpful. When people begin to argue through emotion rather than through the desire to achieve a common goal, things get messy and often end in shouting matches. Before the conversation begins, make sure that all parties understand what the common goal is. Here is an example. Your family goes to your mother in law’s house for the holidays every year and you want to go to the beach this year. You know that your husband will resist because he loves spending the holiday with his mother. You can set boundaries to keep the conversation from going into an argument about the relationship between you and your mother in law. The common goal of this discussion would be that you both want to have a holiday that the entire family will enjoy. With the agreement and understanding of the goal in place, you can talk objectively and build a bridge to understanding together.

Donovan Mansfield has a PhD in English and writes in New York.